Learning to say no

The world that we live in today is so fast paced, and many times in the journey to find success, we run ourselves too thin by saying yes to too many things. As a result, we are exhausted and wonder:"Is this really what success is supposed to look like?" The answer to that is a loud resounding no.

Saying yes too often can ruin the perfect world you have cultivated for yourself and those around you. There’s only so much time in a day, so by saying yes to one thing, you are simultaneously saying no to something else.

Often you end up the one exhausted, irritable, and left playing the victim. Loneliness creeps in and you continue to ignore the feeling by taking on one more project. By saying yes to everything, you’re left with no time to heal, clear, do what you love, spend time in meditation, and connect with those around you, a vital part of human existence.

Here is an example from a book I read recently: Those that make the vital decisions for the military always have have a warm place to sleep and plenty to eat. At first look, it appears selfish, their men in the line of duty, risking their lives, in rugged conditions, and often times without proper food, why should their higher ups be given the luxury they can’t seem to afford for the brave soldiers on the battle front? However, officers and officials are looked to for guidance, to plan the next course of action, action that determine the fate of thousands of men and women. So, if a group of officials had five minutes to make a crucial decision, and none of them had eaten for a week, and were nearly frozen to death, their judgement would obviously be impaired. Their minds are focused only on their most basic human needs and the likelihood of them making an accurate decision with thousands of lives on the line are slim to none.

I am giving you a project for the next week. Notice every single time you are about to say yes to something. Before saying yes to anything, ask yourself: What will that yes lead to? In two weeks, how will saying yes to this impact your life, even further than that, next year, will you be impacted by that yes in either a good or a bad way? I have started putting everything through the filter "If it's not a "hell yes", then it's a no." Start strengthening your no muscle so that you can say yes to the things that matter the most.


"I don’t have time" means "I don’t have clear priorities, and I don’t know what matters." Stop being a victim, and get clear priorities.” - Amber Rae


For more on learning to say no, check out The Tim Ferriss Show #282 (One of my favorite podcast episodes of all time.)